Little Summerlin in Training

We went to visit her pediatrician for her 9 month check up this morning.  As always her doctor is super impressed with her development.  She was in the 95th percentile for about everything.  She is weighing in at 23 pounds and is 29 inches giant!  Yay for my healthy, healthy girl.

I did have some things to discuss with her pediatrician though.  Like these temper tantrums that she has started throwing.  Wow.  If I leave the room or even walk away from her to the other side of the room she pitches one every time.  Her doctor said this is very normal and the best thing is to ignore them and they will go away.  She is doing them because she wants attention.  So if I pick her up every time she pitches one, it just reinforces bad behavior.  Yikes.  It's hard to do because Miss Lexi is extremely stubborn.  She does not give in very easily, so these tantrums can go on for quite some time.  My mom says that this is a good trait for her to have.  It means she won't give in easily on things when she gets older so I should appreciate it.  Momma knows best, but it's hard to think any good can come from these horrible fits.

Also Miss Lexi has started laughing at me when I tell her "No".  What a punk.  She knows what it means and she tries to deflect my getting onto her by being all cute and laughing.  I hold her arms down and firmly continue telling her "No" and her chuckles slowly turn into serious cries.  Then she gets all apologetic and life goes on.  Kids are truly smart.  I never knew a 9 month old had all these levels of emotions.  And that personality!  Oh my does she have quite the personality!  I'm also astounded at how much independence she already has.  Most of the time she is pushing me away because she wants to do everything herself-brush her hair, feed herself, put on her own clothes even!  She also wants to help me do everything.

Every day gets more and more fun!  I pulled out a box of play plastic food toys from mom's attic the other day that Christine used to play with.  I'm pretty sure some of them got a little warped and discolored from their long stay in the attic, because I cannot identify what some of the food is supposed to represent.  But anyway, we have been having a grand time playing with it.  I'm not sure who is having more fun. :)

Lexi is also still a big fan of Finding Nemo.  We have watched it so much our DVD is about to die.  I'm thinking that Nemo is going to be the theme of her first birthday party which is coming up soon!!!

Life as We Know It

I haven't updated in a while.  I've been incredibly stressed out with school, job interviews, and little miss Lexi.  She had strep throat last week.  It was terrifying.  She was basically lifeless for an entire week.  It is so amazing to have her back to normal again.  I am blessed to have, for the most part, an incredibly happy and healthy baby.  She is 9 months old now by the way.  AND still no teeth.  Jeez.  I've been waiting forever for those guys to show up.

Anyway, I just wanted to let you in on what's going on.  I am graduating on May 13!!!!  Excitement does not even begin to describe it.  And I'm looking for a job right now which is quite stressful.  I've also been going through some soul searching this month.  It seems like none of my plans seem to be working out the way I want them to so I've been having a talk with the big man upstairs.  It appears that I'm not as in control of my own life as I think I am.  Haha.  The joke's on me.  I don't know why it is so hard for me to have faith and trust in God.  I want to control everything, ugh.  He has been teaching me to have more faith lately and I am learning to trust that He has an amazing plan for me.  I would say that it has been quite a while since I have had a close relationship with God.  Coming back is really rough.  He is showing me how wrong I have been and how stubborn I have been these past few years.  I hate being wrong.  

So this week I've been dealing with a lot of emotions that I've ignored and pushed away for a very long time.  God is helping me work through them and shed them.  It's not pleasant though.  I've had these dark feelings festering within me for years and letting them out now is like finally getting around to cleaning up something that's been rotting for years.  I pray that I can shed these old clothes and be made new again.  I want to feel the joy of walking with God that I once felt again.  I want to be remade.  How blessed we are that our God forgives all sins.  I've been haunted with dreams of my past except they are dreams of the present.  It almost feels like I'm taking a journey through all the most painful parts of my life in real time.  It has left me feeling pretty down this week.  But instead of pushing all these feelings aside, I am working through them with God.  It feels like I am actually getting somewhere, but it is going to be a slow process.  I need lots of prayer for strength.  I'm letting go of all of my bitterness, anger, and hate and laying it all at the feet of God.  This seems to be my theme prayer as of late:

God grant me the serenity 
to accept the things I cannot change; 
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference. 

Living one day at a time; 
Enjoying one moment at a time; 
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; 
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it; 
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life 
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.